From adversity to emotional wellness

Rosie Mankes is a two-time cancer survivor. In 2008 she was diagnosed with Stage One Lung Cancer and had 10% of her right lung removed. Then, in 2015 she was diagnosed with early stage breast cancer but tested positive for the breast cancer gene so ended up having a bilateral mastectomy and reconstructive surgery. After her second cancer journey decided she wanted to be a life coach to help serve others and she is also a speaker and author of a book

In her book Rosie writes about how she moved from significant adversity to emotional wellness in the space of one year. In 2015 as well as her breast cancer diagnosis she also had to transition her Mother to an assisted living facility because of her progression of her dementia. Her Mother had always lived in New York so was very fearful of leaving the only life she had known behind so she could move closer to Rosie and her family in New Jersey. Then, when things were just starting to settle down, Rosie’s 58 year-old brother died an accident.

Rosie felt cursed and didn’t know how to get out of bed and attempt to be herself. She needed to find out how to move from that place of despair and find a way to emotional wellness and healing. She wanted to find joy in everyday living again. Rosie used to think before that year that it was all about the big picture – if you can just do one big thing you can fix it but she found that when she was in that place it was a series of smaller things that created the change. It was more about grass roots foundation building, digestible bits of information because when you are really down you cant comprehend more than a little bit at a time.

Rosie wasn’t happy so one of the first things she did was to define what happy was. She decided to write down five day-to-day things that made her happy but she ended up with a blank page because she wasn’t happy. She then took a side step and wrote down five things that could make her happy. She came up with a very basic list – sitting with her dogs, watching a sun rise or set, taking a walk – but it wasn't a list of what made her happy so she turned them affirmations and read them constantly until she felt strong enough to integrate them into her life.

She also took a look at the things she had given up during that year. One of the things she had stopped doing was listening to the radio because of the connection she felt to the lyrics. But music was a large part of Rosie’s life so she worked on bringing it back in to her life. She had also stopped exercising partly because of the surgery but she then suffered from crippling anxiety. She didn't really want to go back but she did and she then realised that she needed to look at her gym buddies and visulise who they were, what did she want from her encounter with them and what did she want share. Once she had visulised this at home, she had prepared herself for the encounter and made it easier for her to push through it

As a life coach Rosie feels she has most value when she is working with breast cancer sufferers, helping them deal with the personal things - feelings and emotions that go with losing part of your body. Having been diagnosed with lung and breast cancer Rosie feels breast cancer is far more personal as the body changes are very hard to deal with so the experience that she has been though can help other women express their emotions and fears and help them get through their journey.

Rosie also works with families who are having to transition their parents into assisted living or memory care facility from home. When she was transitioning her mother she felt a lot of guilt because she didn't ever think her mother would ever need to go into a facility. However, her mothers care level needs were high and Rosie’s ability to look after her was low due to her breast cancer. Now Rosie likes to help other people deal with the denial of needs, the guilt that might come along, the preparation of question you need to ask and generally be as knowledgeable as possible so you are better able to cope.

You can find out more about Rosie at Rosiemankes.net Her book is Find Your Joy and Run With It,

You can listen to the podcast in full and find out further information here. Our upcoming guest list is also available along with our previous blogs.